its hard;goodbye hurts

as much as hate to watch u walked away from me...
i have to do wat i felt was right at that point of time...
i chose to let go..chose to go thru life alone without u by my side...
now i realized how much u meant to me and i wanna apologize...
but words said are not meant to be taken back...
i admitted my mistakes...but will i ever get the chance to talk to u ever again...???
i miss you and i want so bad to talk to you...
will u ever forgive me???

come with me;

thoughts for the day: u make my heart smile everytime u smile...

okae...just received a very good news...theres another engagement coming our wae...yessah!! if couple of weeks ago was my male cuzz...this time its one of my female cuzz..hahahha...male/female sounds so wrong to me...

niwaes,her engagement ceremony is set for 07.07.07...and her dowry is $7777...hahhaha...suke sgt2 dgn nombor 7 gaknye...hahaha...im so looking forward to tt dae coz it means another family gathering...and i just love it when we get together-gether...which also means alot of laufters,smiles and silly-milly-dilly jokes....i loike...hahaha...

on to another "good" news...i think i have a job...i think oni ar...honest punye bebual ey,i dunno wat the job requires me to do ar...bcoz my eldest cuzz's fwen,kold me up one fine day and asked me to come down for training for starhub...and i figured tt since im so so so free and obviously still job-LESS,i might as well give it a shot...tk kesah lar keje aper pun...dah malas ey nk g fill form2 ni smuer agy...if the job is worth my time and the pay is good why not ryyyt...when u're in desperate need of a JOB,u cant afford to be choosy lar...i oni noe its paying for 6 bucks an hour...and its a pretty laid back job...all da best to me i guess...

and yar...im missing besty like alot...havent been toking to her like months...u can say tt the fwenship has been somewhat strained and tt its hanging by a thread...i noe im being negative here but if u were in my position,u cant help being negative...obviously the problem is not me being me...its her being the wae she is now...i just hope things get better for her and her bf and tt we will be toking again...hmmm...hopefully!

okae dokie...i guess imma bounce...got a new song n my page...so go check it out...

long overdued;

thoughts for the day: this aint a love song...

this entry was supposed to be posted on Monday[28/05/07] but was too lazyy to actually typed it in...plus der a pictures to upload..but smhw i found a wae to put them pics together and decided to post an entry lar...

my "abg sdare" engagement ceremony[27/05/07] was a blast eventho' it was a very very tiring dae for the whole Amir's family...i get to carry the gifts and i was so in love with this crabtree & evelyn love box and product lar...hahaha...it was so cute and pretty...bumped into harith(sara's fwen) at the lady's side...didnt think i would actually met someone i actually knew at this kinda place and situation lar...didnt get a chance to talk coz was busy with the gifts and getting ready to head back to my cuzz hse...anw,heres a vid of the engagement...


i dun wanna go on and continue writting crap so imma end it here...run out of words already...

im tryna;

thoughts for the day: aint thinking abt it all,but it just wont go awae...

oritey...a REAL entry after wat seem like ages...theres alot of crap bottled inside me ryt now tt it if i kept it inside for another dae,it might just burst out of its own accord...watever all tt means lar ey...

finally,im back at my own home after 4 mths staying with my aunt at Tampines..for those who loves making assumption,no i didnt got thrown out by my parents for watever reason u guys can come up with aiite...i was accompanying my aunt coz she moved back home 4 mths ago to her hse in tampines...now the flat has been sold and the last couple of months was a lil hectic with packing and going up and down hdb and so on so forth..and today is finally the moving day...she did not buy a new flat coz only her and her youngest daughter gonna stay together...so she rented a flat tt will take at least 6 months to be approved...so yar shes currently living with my eldest cousins...

wat else now???

ouh,luck is certainly not on my side wen i was looking for a job coz till today im still job-LESS lar...like wtf! and i'd realized tt finding a job with oni a higher nitec cert aint gonna be helpful enuff...and with tt i hafta forget my dream of getting a dip in 2010...im determined to get accepted into any farking poly next year by hook or crook lar...i hate idling arnd the hse..hate filling in job application forms...hate sending out resumes to pple..hate being JOBLESS for fuck's sake...and i miss going to school and even miss having homewerk and everything associating with sch lar...but im too lazy to start making new friends again lar...coz they wont be like the ones i have now...haish!!!

altho im on the verge of giving up in finding a real job,i will still keep trying lar...i need cash lar..i think tts d only thing tt keep this "looking for a job" spirit alive...hmmmmmmmmm....and im so smangat to lose them fats lar...its about time i think to live healthy...hahahaha...been watching "THE BIGGEST LOSER" all week long and kinda motivated by them...by knowing myself fully well,i need alot of motivation lar...my smangat is like wat 5 minit je ekh...hahaha..but yar im determined to focus on losing weight too...i dont feel the urge of losing weight before honestly coz i was very "heck-care" but now the attitude has to change...coz theres a part of me wanting to look good,wanting to live to a ripe old age and wanting to be healthy...so tts y im doing this...it gonna take time,of course but gradually i'll get the hang of it lar...*cross-fingers*...

anw,had a long dae ahead of me 2mrw...one of my many cousins are getting engaged 2mrw and gotta be at his place early2...half looking-forward to it.half dreading the train ride to pasir ris...hmm...look out for pics aiite...tons i think...ok i;mma bounce..tc!

"im tryna act like i dont wanna be with you...

like i would be okae if u just walk awae...

im tryna act like i dont wanna see you...

like u were just a face,i'll forget u in a dae..."

random pics;

Labour Day

Sunday [060507] @ Johor

Elliot Yamin - Wait For You

thoughts for the day: i'll wait for you...

I never felt nothing in the world like this before
Now I'm missing you and

I'm wishing you would come back through my door
Why did you have to go
You could have let me know
So now I'm all alone

Babe you could have stayed

but you wouldn't give me a chance
With you not around it's a little bit more than I can stand
And all my tears they
Keep runnin' down my face
Why did you turn away

So why does your pride

make you run and hide
Are you that afraid of me
But I know it's a lie what you keep inside
This is not how you want it to be

So baby I will wait for you
Cause I don't know what else I can do
Don't tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life
Baby I will wait for you
If you think I fine it just ain't true
I really need you in my life
No matter what I have to do
I'll wait for you

Been a long time since you called me
(How could you forget about me)
You gotta be feeling crazy
How can you walk away
Everything stays the same
I just can't do it baby

What will it take to make you come back
Baby I told you what it is and it just ain't like that
Why can't you look at me
You're still in love with me
Don't leave me crying
Baby why can't we just, just start all over again
Get it back to the way it was
If you give me a chance
I can love you right
But you're telling me it won't be enough

thoughts for the day: it seems to me tt TRUTH is your worst ENEMY...

hey y'all...finally got the strength to post up an entry here...

i was rushed to a private clinic ystdae at arnd 10 plus

coz i vomitted twice and was in great pain...

tot of going straight to the hospital but we all know

how long the queue is at the A&E...

so instead we went to a family clinic...

i had 7 people before my call...

and if i swear i could have die in pain right there if

mom wasnt by my side...

the pain was excruciating and i need mom and sis to actually

hold both my arms coz i cant walk without wanting to faint...

the doctor examined me and treated it as severe gastric..

i was given an injection and was told to lay down for a good 10 mins...

*imagine the queue outside*

apart from the jab,i was given a letter to give to the A&E dept

at NUH just in case the gastric got worst and needed inpatient treatment...

yup...fortunately the jab kinda ease the pain alil'

and i felt a lil better after 8hrs of sleep...

but right now,as im typing this entry here

i aint feeling good y'all...

i can literally feel the blood draining from my face

and my stomach is in pain again..

and guess wad,im banned from coffee,tea,chocs and all caffeinated stuffs..

not forgetting all the spicy spicy stuffs..

aiya...wats next sia??!!

wats ironic abt all this was...

MediShield people called me the dae before asking

if i had fully recovered from my gastric pain and i told them "should be"

next thing i knew,i was treated for acute gatristis again...

neways,i think imma go and lay dwn coz

i just feel good...

so to all out there..PEACE!!